Sleep Tight Rajang

Very sad news today…

Rajang the orangutan has finally passed away at Colchester Zoo.

He had been struggling with chronic arthritis and other health issues over recent years, and finally after 50 years it was time to say goodbye.

Sleep tight big fella.

Many years ago when I first saw Rajang, he inspired me to create www.cajuzi.com.

It took a while for it to fall into place as I built up my thoughts, but Rajang immediately became my profile image across the likes of Twitter, LinkedIn, desktop wallpapers, that sort of thing.

He’s always been the main image in the banner at the top of this page, in case you were wondering.

In so many ways I could relate to him.

I’ve long been known as ‘being an orangutan’ due to my freakishly long arms and natural love of Rajang. I always felt that his mind was always calmly breaking down what was around and in front of him, with logic, patience, intelligence and of course curiosity.

So sad.

Fireworks done - Now post the flyers!

Last week at home we had the unfortunate matter of our landline home telephone deciding to no longer work.

It just stopped. Holiday mode I imagine.

As if by magic it just suddenly went silent during Tuesday morning, and to be honest it was fairly adamant it wasn’t coming back any time soon.

One Stop Shop

My curious mind couldn’t help thinking the other end of the phone line had been unplugged in the exchange box.  Hmmm…

With it went the broadband connection. Fortunately British Telecom (BT) are responsible for it all so I promptly logged a fault with them.

How Long?

Now, as I’m on their superfast, high performance Infinity 2 broadband deal I’d hoped for a swift investigation.  Unfortunately I was mistaken.

“Sometime over the next 4 days we’ll have a look for you”, was the response.  Four days? This is 2012 for heaven’s sake!

That Was Quick

Well, eventually an engineer turned up on Thursday. Oddly enough after a swift visit to the local exchange box he had it resolved in a jiffy!

Loose plug perhaps?

It’s quite frustrating, paying for an expensive service for two days of nothing. Wonder what they do with my money if it’s not to fund my fibre connection 24 hours a day?

Anyway, fortunately it’s fixed now so thank you BT.

Oooh, A Bit of Post!

So, this leads me onto something that popped through my letterbox yesterday. You know the old fashioned way of communicating.

The envelope in question was addressed to “The Householder”. It was from BT.

Ex-Directory Does More Than I Thought

Odd, I’m sure the last time I spoke to them they knew my name. And what’s up with not emailing me to save time and money?  You know, my money that I pay every month!

May be they didn’t know they’d fixed my connection issue so decided to write to me instead.

I’m assuming of course that it was a general flyer that every household received. Fair enough, although seems a bit pointless in one way.

Funny Olympics

So what was inside?  Well it contained a rather large poster, about A2 in size, of a colourful and funny cartoon picture. Great, I love cartoons!

The cartoon related to the London 2012 Olympics and had plenty of comical and light hearted shenanigans going on all over it. Clearly a lot of effort had been applied to producing it.

Let’s Party!

Now given that the London 2012 Olympics finished over a week ago, 10 days to be precise, I assumed it was celebrating Team GB’s success in winning so many medals at home.

Er… no.

The main heading across the middle read “This Summer’s Biggest Deal”.  Below it was an offer for broadband and calls “from the official broadband provider of London 2012”.

The next heading said “A Performance you can rely on”.  Words such as reliable and superfast were mentioned in the statements that followed.

But You Know I Have That?

Apparently I can keep right up to date with all the results from the Olympics, with BT. It even comments on my existing service failing right at the final moments of the 100m sprint, and that I need to get a new service from them to guarantee unspoilt entertainment.

What… how… but… I’m on the most expensive, the fastest and best service that BT have available.

Perhaps Just Bad Timing…

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand the bold sales strategy being applied here but come on, really?

I’d hardly call my BT connection reliable considering what happened last week. Yes, it’s superfast but this offer hardly shows great performance by arriving so late.

Conclusion

I’m sorry to say that we only have the London 2012 Paralympics remaining.  The main London 2012 Olympics fortnight has long since departed so I can’t keep up to date with the 100m Final or any other event that I may pass interest over.

Oh hang on, of course I did. Silly me.

As I’ve mentioned, I already have their high performing superfast BT Infinity 2 service rendering this flyer as completely pointless.

Then there’s the confident wording relating to reliability and performance.  Oh please BT, be careful with your timing.

Finally

Now, had this turned up a week ago followed by the writing of this article then I’d be wondering if I’d been responsible for my own loss of service last week… but then I’m not sure they know who I am, where I live or even what day it is.

Thanks anyway BT, I enjoyed the cartoon!

Prison Fire Sparks Crazy Headlines

So there you have it, it’s all in a headline. If the headline doesn’t grab you by the time you’ve read the last word then the chances are you won’t bother to read the news story.

Unless you’re bored of course.

Warm Snow

Now, last month most of Britain woke up to a blanket of snow. Bit of a surprise considering the mild temperatures experienced up to that point. Even Christmas day had reached double figures.

The white stuff didn’t last long though and things are now picking up again. February went from -18 to +18 degrees centigrade which is just crazy!

Is That True? Let Me Check

So as March arrived I was a little shocked to read the news headline of “Snow Blizzards To Hit Britain”.

Along with thoughts of “Oh no not again”, I doubted that it was actually a true story to be honest.

However, out of curiosity I continued on and read the story.

No Need To Panic

Now it did say that snow was possibly likely to fall on an island north of Scotland. Can’t remember which one now but technically it’s in Britain. The article explained the term “blizzard” as a wind speed of 25mph or more.  That surprised me. I thought it would be faster than that?

Anyhow, technically the headline was true. Albeit over dramatic but it had done its job nonetheless. I’d read the article from top to bottom proving it was a good piece of journalism.

A Funny Headline

Over the weekend another great headline popped up.

Let me briefly explain the story first for you. Some masked inmates ran amok in a prison. They set fire to buildings, overpowered the guards and caused around £5m worth of damage.

The headline for this story focused on the punishment of the offenders, the arsonists if you prefer. It said “Inmates Jailed For Prison Riot Damage”.

Don’t Do That! Now Do It Again!

Yes that’s right, the inmates have been punished by… well… locking them back up. Hmm.

That’s like sending your child to their bedroom as punishment for staying in their bedroom, huh?

To be fair, it was a great headline that made me read the story, so once again a good piece of journalism.

One Bean + One Bean = Some Beans

I’ve just read a story about the mathematical ability of adults in the UK.  It was titled “Half of English Adults Have Poor Maths”.

Not overly exciting or dramatic I know but as I quite like being challenged by the odd number crunching question I thought I’d have a read.

Writing About Yourself

It basically said that 56% of UK adults admit to having no understanding of mathematics. “So what?”, I hear you say. “What’s this got to do with my earlier topic of conversation about headlines?”.

Well you see, it would appear the journalist writing this very article falls into the 56% bracket. I know I’m being a bit pedantic but the headline is wrong, even a little misleading. As far as I can recall, I was always taught at school that 56% does not equal half.

Whilst wrong though, I did end up reading the story.

Latest News!

Now, did you know that fuel bills are set to double?

No, I bet you didn’t but that could be my next heading. It may not be true of course but it appears I can say what I like if I word the story as a potential prediction for over the next decade.

Who knows, I might be half right… or maybe 56% wrong. Apparently I can be both.

Conclusion

So you see, headlines can be bang on perfect but they can also be misleading and inaccurate if you stretch things a little.

Oh, and as for the headline at the top of this article?

Well I guess I was wrong, but as it could’ve potentially been the last thing you did on Earth I feel privileged that you read this post right to the very end. Thank you.

I can't slam dunk it... it won't fit!

Have you ever heard someone utter the words, “a licence to print money”?

Hmm, yes probably.

It’s a nice thought and a great privilege if you’re allowed to do it.

Well, the Royal Mint has that very privilege. They also have the honour of making coins by the billions to pump into the monetary system.

Perfection is the key

Clearly it carries a great responsibility. Everything has to be exactly right with the printing of each note and the structure of each coin. With a high level of accuracy every single item produced has to be as per the design specification.

Ok, so that’s marvellous.

When Was That Then?

Well apart from when they get the design wrong that is. Take for example the new 20p coin launched in 2009. Its size and weight were perfect but after the Royal Mint had sent 200,000 into circulation they then realised they had forgotten to date them. Coin collectors went mad of course, paying up to 250 times their face value to get hold of one.

I’m sure that’s a mistake that the Royal Mint will never make again.  Presumably they now have even stricter rules to reach perfection.

Great, that’s marvellous.

Change Saves Money

Well, unfortunately it appears that isn’t the case. You see, the Royal Mint have just launched new 5p and 10p coins. The new designs will save them £8m a year apparently.

Now that is marvellous.

The cost saving is in the material used for the coins as they are now being made out of steel instead of copper and nickel. So what’s the problem then?

A Cost Saving? Er, No

Well unfortunately it would seem that in order to keep the coins the same weight they’ve made each one thicker.

You see, in the UK there is an old style parking meter that is unable to accept the thicker coins, and the problem is they are installed everywhere. The estimate to replace these useless parking meters is estimated to be around £80m, to be paid for by the local councils.

Not marvellous at all.

Lack of Parking

So due to the incompetence of the Royal Mint coin designers there are bound to be some serious parking issues coming up. The thing is, parking is bad enough already. Car parks never seem to be made big enough.

May be this will force the government and councils to look into controlling parking in a better way.

Why Put It There?

For instance, my youngest daughter plays netball during the evening at a local sports leisure centre. Parking would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that there’s a secondary school bolted onto the side of it.

This means that whenever the school hold a parents evening, or something similar, it’s impossible to find a space to park. It leads to double parking and complete chaos.

Get Famous & I’ll Press Record

Of course I do find somewhere to park eventually, but I end up missing a substantial amount of her training session. She really enjoys playing and her ability is improving all the time I might add, not that I get to see much of it.

Who knows maybe one day she’ll be on TV. At least it will allow me to watch a recording once I’ve given up on the parking idea.

Success can surely happen as only last year one of the older girls progressed to playing for England, which is fantastic. If only netball had been made into an Olympic sport then she could’ve potentially played for England at the London 2012 Olympics, and been on TV too.

Now that would definitely be marvellous.

London 2012 Olympics Special

Oh, whilst on the subject of the London 2012 Olympics, a special commemorative collection of coins are now on sale. Guess who made them?

Yes, the Royal Mint of course.

A lot of thought has gone into the making of them, and let’s face it, given the amount of attention surrounding the London 2012 Olympics they need to get them bang on perfect.

The Collection

There are 29 coins to collect in all. Each one representing a different Olympic sport from the London 2012 line up.  Number 5 for instance is basketball.

Personally I really enjoy basketball. I loved playing it and find it great to watch, which is why I’m off to see a couple of games with my family when the Olympics arrive in London.  It’s because of this that my dad has bought me a number 5 coin to keep.

Basketball Queen

Now, we had a look at it to see the unique design on it, and yes, it represents the sport of basketball. There’s a special moulded design on one side. On the other side, the head’s side, it has the standard Queen’s head with the official wording of “ELIZABETH.II.D.G REG.F.D.2011”.

Yes, they remembered the date this time.

So well done Royal Mint, that’s marvellous.

Conclusion

Well no, it isn’t really. The thing is, presumably the date on a coin has to be when it was actually made. Otherwise it may be deemed illegal. I get that bit.

So I guess you may have realised by now that for something that is to be a collectable, commemorative coin for the London 2012 Olympics does in fact have the date of ‘2011’ planted on it.

Only the Royal Mint could make something so collectable, seem so worthless.

Marvellous… absolutely marvellous.

No problem, I'll do it tonight...

Quite often I feel as though I never have any free time.

Well, when I say free time, I guess I really mean spare time. That’s spare time to do something else.

You see, I have a list of tasks that I need to do, or possibly want to do.

In fact, I have many lists. I even have a list of lists.

Fortunately I haven’t yet reached the point of needing lists of my lists of lists.

Family Time

For some reason I seem to struggle to organise my time at home. I try to make time to work through all the tasks I have to do, but I fail on so many levels.

I think one reason is simply because I always put my family first, and I’m fine with that. I definitely never want it to be any other way. I like to think I’m the type of husband and dad who’ll be there, no matter what.

Don’t Worry, I Have All Night

Now, obviously this can be a major distraction from my ever growing list of things to do. And of course it is. And that’s fine too, in a round about sort of way.

I say this because I consistently tell myself that I’ll get on with my bits once everyone else has been sorted out. So basically that’s once they’ve all either settled down for the evening in front of the TV, or retired to bed for a good night’s sleep.

That’s when my “spare time” begins.

But Be Quiet

Unfortunately, whilst this sounds fine it does have some consequences.

For instance, I can’t do anything that will result in making a loud noise. Like decorating for example, or putting up a few shelves, or even printing some of my artwork for that matter. It just wouldn’t work. Well it would, but I clearly wouldn’t be thanked for it.

Plus, this so called spare time is at the worst time of the day. Once night falls and I work out what I’m going to do, I’m just too exhausted to concentrate on doing any of it.

Writing

Now, writing is another task on my list, and pretty high up on it too.

Take my blog for instance. I can easily think of a topic to write about next but it’s finding the right moment to sit down and actually write it up, or jot it down… whichever is correct.

It just becomes a bit of a struggle for me.

Everything Is A Task

So therefore the end result is that my list gets longer. My next blog post doesn’t happen. The house looks the same as it did last year… and the year before that.

So until I get my own time in order and do what I should, or could, be doing I won’t be crossing off any task from any of my lists for a little while yet.

You see, that’s a task in itself… to look at how I can manage my lists better. Oh dear, I’d better add that to the list now too.

Conclusion

So in the meantime, please talk amongst yourselves and wait for my next blog post.

Oh hang on, I’ve just written it.

Well how on Earth did I manage that?

Any dips with your letter sir?

There are plenty of organisations that offer help for one reason or another.

It could be some guidance on how to use an appliance for example.

Others give options of advice on how to fix a leaking tap.

If you are stuck on how to rebuild the engine in your car you don’t have to be alone.

You can even find books in the local library to discover how to really look after a pet.

Think About What You’re Saying

Have you ever seen a message like this though: “Having trouble with your telephone?  Ring 0800 555555 now for help!”.

Or perhaps you’ve seen something like this: “Having trouble with your internet access?  Visit www. computerhelp.com/theinternet now for help!”.

Why do they say things like this, surely the people behind this useful information aren’t as silly as they sound?

Yes ok, you’re probably right.  Maybe they are.

Delivery For You Sir!

You see, this morning on the news they covered an item that involved the Royal Mail Delivery Service.

For those who don’t know, the Royal Mail employ post men and women to hand deliver envelopes, leaflets and parcels to households across the UK.  They literally deal with millions of items each week.

It’s Going to be a Bumpy Ride

The news story covered a certain issue regarding a town in southern England. In this town there is a poorly maintained public road that leads to a number of properties.

As a result of the condition of this road the Royal Mail has now decided that they can no longer make deliveries to these properties until the road quality has been improved.

Sounds a bit harsh but if it’s dangerous I can see that it could of course become a serious issue.

Conclusion

So, the Royal Mail will be informing all of the residents affected that they can no longer deliver mail to them.

How?

Well, they are writing a nice little letter to them all of course…

I know, don’t ask.  Silly isn’t it.

Who came up with that bright idea?

Yesterday I read a news article regarding the passing of Joe Frazier. At the age of 67 he lost his journey in life a month after being diagnosed with liver cancer.

Now, this article isn’t entirely about Joe Frazier, it’s more of an example of a situation on something that could well be a very common occurrence amongst us all.

Something that made me curiously raise my eyebrows.

Great Achievements

You see, whilst his name is familiar to me, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you too much about what he actually achieved in life.  I knew he was a boxer, but as for being aware of any further career details I really struggled.

I claim it’s not my fault though, well not entirely anyway.  He started to achieve success before I was born and then his big events occurred whilst I was living in my single digit years. So I can sort of excuse myself there on that one.

Fortunately the news story filled me in with the details, which I guess is part of what it’s supposed to do.  He defeated Muhammad Ali, wow!  Plus he defended the heavy weight title on more than one occasion.  So in terms of being a boxer that’s a great record of success.

Even if my ignorance meant I really didn’t know about him.

Being Famous

So, this made me ponder for a moment about the whole “famous” thing. There are plenty of people around with a desire to become famous.  Some for the fame, but others I’m guessing is for the money.

For me, it would be because of something I had achieved.  Possibly something to improve the way things are done, to make life simpler for people in life.  Perhaps even a radical step forward in the world of technology.

I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen, well not now anyway, but if it did I wonder if I’d ever be remembered 100 years on from now?

Sorry, What Did You Do?

There are plenty of famous people in the world but whilst we may know their name we may not necessarily know what they did during their life time to award them the famous tag.

I’m not talking about the current “so called” celebrity world. I’m referring to famous people from possibly decades before we were born that truly made a difference to the way we do things.

Force of Gravity Lights the Way

For instance, a vast number of today’s population have heard of Albert Einstein.  As to how many people actually know why may be a slightly different number.  My guess is lower, much lower.

Sir Isaac Newton is probably in the same “famous but no idea why” bracket for some people.  Alexander Fleming may well be another, along with Thomas Edison too.

What these men achieved in their lives has affected us all in our own everyday lives.  Yet how much we really know about them probably varies greatly between us all.

So Back To Me

Take my life for example.  After I’ve finally moved on from living on this planet, at the ripe old age of 150 or whatever it’ll be, I want people to read all about me in the news. I want people to discover how much of a difference I made to something, or how great a particular achievement of mine was.

I want people to say “Hey, I recognise that chap”, or perhaps “Oh my goodness! Have you heard the news about Cajuzi the Curious Orangutan..?”

Conclusion

Just one thought, well a concern really.  Will it be the first time that people actually discover what I achieved during my life time?

I hope not.

Will my great great grandchildren have any idea why they knew my name other than being mentioned in an old scrap book?

I hope so, but I accept there’s a good chance they won’t.

Finally

You see, I haven’t actually achieved anything yet so I’ll just be referred to as an old non-descript family member.  Mind you, maybe I have achieved greatness already and you just haven’t read about it yet. Who knows?

Makes you think though…

Right, I’d better be going. My time machine is ready and waiting for its next journey.  Oh, damn!  You’re not supposed to know about that… well not yet anyway.

So we just stand here right?

It seems as though wherever I look nowadays there are workmen about. On roads, street corners and even shopping centres. They are everywhere.

However, despite this huge presence it’s rare to see a workman working by himself. Take this morning for instance…

I passed a section of footpath surrounded by an excessive number of red and white barriers.

In between the barriers I could see a man standing inside a rather deep hole. Only his head protruded above ground level as he stood upright in his narrow mini canyon.

Don’t Just Stand There

Now, his colleagues were clearly above ground, not breaking a sweat, and that made me a little curious…

There were three of them.  All dressed in bright yellow jackets with their hard hats on, just like the man in the hole.  All three of them stood still, staring into the depths of the Earth whilst passing the odd comment as I walked on by.

What Are You Doing?

So why were they there, and what part do they play in this disruptive development?

The man in the hole seemed to be very busy but the chaps standing above ground seemed to be quite chilled and relaxed.

I Guess They Could Be…

So I tried to figure out what their roles might be.  Presumably one of them could be the boss, the man in charge in case a disaster happens.

Another could be the planner, the man who directs what happens and when it should happen.

Maybe the third man was a backup, someone to replace the poor chap who had clearly drawn the short straw out of the hat and ended up nearer the centre of our planet.

Very Important People

I guess though that any of them could have been a gas specialist, an electrician, the driver, a health and safety officer, an automated digger controller… whatever one of those might be, or perhaps just a good old tea boy.

You see, at first it appears to be completely over the top to have 75% of the people on the job doing absolutely nothing, but in fact it’s entirely feasible they are all there for a very good reason.

Oh, and most likely it’s perfectly possible that without one of them the project could not continue.  The entire process could fall apart.

Single Point of Failure

It’s a bit like a football team without a goalkeeper, or an NFL offence without a quarterback, or an F1 team without a driver.

They are all the same. Without one of those critical roles being performed the entire event has to stop or face complete failure.

Conclusion

So you see, I should just believe that these additional people are actually there for a good reason, and that they’re performing a critical role in the project or job that is being undertaken.

As individuals, it’s natural for many of us to think that we’re vital to a team or to things that may happen in our personal and professional working lives.  It feels good to be wanted after all.

So keep going, don’t give up and have the self belief that we are all important in our own little ways.

And Finally…

Right then, I’d better leave it there.  I don’t want to be responsible for my colleagues taking a rest with their feet up on their desks… so I’d better go and pop the kettle on for another cuppa.

After all, I’d only be digging a hole for myself if I didn’t.

Dark and Disbelief

Whilst driving into work this morning I had a few “shake my head in disbelief” moments.

First up were the drivers who failed to switch on their headlights. It was pretty dark as dawn hadn’t yet woken up.

I’m amazed at how many people fall into this category. That is no headlights, not the woken up bit.

Just Flick The Switch

I can’t decide if it’s just because they can see everyone else coming with their lights on so they don’t have to worry.

Or maybe it’s down to them actually sleeping at the same time as dawn, perhaps even with dawn. It could of course simply be that they just don’t care, and as a consequence are just too daft to understand the need to switch their lights on.

I’m not sure, but what I do know is I found myself shaking my head from side to side in disbelief. Either way, it was turning out to be pretty dangerous.

Now, talking of dangerous…

Push It And Run

I saw a young woman crossing the road whilst pushing a child in a pushchair.  Now this doesn’t sound too risky does it? Well I’m afraid to say it was and it was pretty irresponsible in the manner that she did it too.

It all happened at a busy crossroads that is controlled by traffic lights. When used correctly it is perfectly safe to cross, even with a child.

As I approached the junction the lights turned red.  So naturally I stopped, as did the vehicle in front of me. So just as well I did really. I then noticed that the traffic in every direction had stopped. That’s it, we just sat there, motionless.

Beep… Oh, Too Late

Then the reason came to light, a loud repetitive audible “beep” could be heard. This of course is for the pedestrians to cross safely in any which way they desired. After all, they pushed the button.

Oh, hang on a minute. No that’s not right, they’ve crossed already!

Why do people do that? Once again I found myself shaking my head from side to side.  She had risked her own life and that of the child.  She had acted responsibly in pressing the button to clearly demonstrate to the child that it’s the correct thing to do but then proceeded to do something else.

Anyone For Frogger

Not only did she risk their lives by playing Frogger but it could have resulted in potentially devastating an innocent driver who could have been caught up in it all.  She did make it safely to the other side and fortunately with her child. The worse that had occurred was that she’d managed to frustrate the early rush hour drivers by forcing them to wait for absolutely no reason what so ever.

Maybe there should be a cancel button on the other side of the road?  No, best not. I can foresee that matter turning into more trouble than it’s worth.  Better leave that idea alone for now.

Wakey Wakey!

So, once the lights had turned back to green we started to pull away, albeit very slowly…

You see, the vehicle in front of me drove slower than I can run, and believe me I don’t run very often or anywhere near Olympic speeds.

I found myself saying things like “if you drove at the usual typical speed for this road you could have an extra 15 minutes in bed”, maybe even with dawn. Who knows.  I shook my head in disbelief. Eventually I reached a three lane road and went on my merry way.

Move Over Please

Then once again… this time in the middle lane, was an ambulance travelling at about 40mph.  Now there could be a very good reason for this reduced speed on a 70mph road but why the middle lane I wondered?

The inside lane was clear. Not a driver in sight.

No one dared to pass on the inside of the ambulance as the law clearly doesn’t permit it. So one by one we squeezed into the outside lane to drive on past. It was at this point I shook my head in disbelief once more.

Gobsmacked!

The ambulance driver was taking off their official green jacket!  Yes that’s right, whilst driving an ambulance in the middle lane at an awkward speed he was irresponsibly risking the lives of many others by getting undressed!

I tried to forget about all of this and settle down for the remainder of my journey.  After all, my head was starting to hurt with all of the sideways shaking.

So Finally

So after all the build up of these stressful incidents I longed for something to make me feel better. Something to calm my body down for readiness of a hard day’s work in the office. Just a little chuckle would do, or perhaps a curious thought.

It was then one of those very fortunate moments occurred. I happened to notice the wording and artwork on the back of a small truck that I had been following.  It said, “SOLAR Self Drive”, and I couldn’t help but say to myself…

Wow! Really? That’s very clever, especially in the dark.

Think I'll stop for a coffee

Children have always looked up to others, and I don’t just mean literally. I’m sure we’ve all had at least one dream of becoming someone special in our lifetime.

For example, a little girl might have aspirations to become a famous singer, or perhaps a Hollywood actress.

Not all girls want to be famous though. Some may be thrilled at the thought of being a school teacher or a nurse and the rewards that those roles provide.

And Boys Want…

For boys it tends to be a little more action and thrill based.  Their desires focus more towards being a top fighter pilot hurtling at Mach 1 through open and clear skies. Some boys dream of becoming a motor racing driver with the adrenaline rushes that blow your head off at high speed as your backside sits inches from the tarmac.

I guess nowadays most are aiming to be the best footballer in the world, but I’m not sure if this is connected to being in front of thousands of fans each week or the receipt of a lottery win into your bank account every month.

Not Many Make It

For me on the adrenaline rush side of things it was one of two options, either to become a basketball player or a formula one driver.

Clearly the latter is incredibly difficult to achieve. Not that playing basketball is easy of course. To be in F1 is an incredible achievement. With only 24 drivers competing in any one race it highlights the niche market of talent.  It’s completely different to some other sports, take football for instance.  Football clubs like Barcelona and Manchester United each could have 30 or more players vying to play every match. It’s a complete contrast.

As for basketball, I loved playing it, and to be honest I still do when I get the chance.  My height helps hugely, which is a perfect excuse as to why I never chased the dream of an F1 driver. There’s no way I could fit into an F1 car!

All Things Disney

On a different theme altogether, one dream I had was to become a top Disney artist. Even today I’d still love to fulfil that dream. I wanted to be in the world of creating characters, story lines, animation, movies… the whole lot.

What a wonderful and rewarding life that would give, and even now just thinking about it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I love to draw, sitting at my drawing board and letting my imagination take over.

The Routine Commute

So given that I ended up in IT, designing and developing computer systems, means my aspirations that I’ve had since I was a little boy will remain unfulfilled forever.

Even my current location of work doesn’t deliver much excitement as I have a commute of over 60 minutes. That’s a minimum of 2 hours a day for 5 days every week. I’ve driven the same route for the past 15 years. As you can imagine, it’s a bit boring now. I could take a different route but that would just mean I’m spending even longer in my car.

F1… Worlds Apart

Despite this mundane driving experience each day I recently started playing F1 2011 on my PS3. Essentially the latest Formula One game to hit the shelves. I have to say I’m finding it a joy to play. It’s not quite reliving a dream but it is excellent. The intensity of the concentration and commitment required is truly amazing.

Now, whilst playing it I started to think about the reality of my commute compared to being an F1 driver.  My initial thought was that they are worlds apart, but I’m not so sure.

Round and Round and Round Again

You see, I might complain about my long tiresome repetitive drive but let’s just think about an F1 driver for a moment.

During each race he’s required to drive around the same short distance over and over again. Given a race may last 50 or 60 laps, and they do plenty more besides over the course of a race weekend, that actually seems quite dull when I think about it.

I Can Do Lots More

My scenery has changed on and off over the years and it’s pretty much in focus wherever I look, so somewhat different to a race track. They do get to drive into the pits, but I get to stop at petrol stations. I could even stop for a coffee without any penalty.

Talking of penalties, I get to stop and hold up traffic without any issues. Unless of course the vehicle behind has a flashing blue light in which case it’s no different to a safety car situation. They should be in front and it’s a good idea to not overtake them. Yes I know, they have a yellow light and not a blue one but you get the gist.

More Flexibility

I can switch lanes too, or drive slower, or start later, or arrive later, whereas they of course can’t. They have to drive the exact same line at the same high speed for every single lap. It’s a completely different concentration level for them and no denying it’s one incredible ability.

I do have hands free access to my mobile phone, so that’s similar to them talking to a race engineer on the pit wall. Oh, and I can drive my route in reverse, something that would be frowned upon and receive a lifetime ban for sure in the world of F1 obviously.

Conclusion

So you see, an F1 driver may get to experience a bigger buzz than me but taking everything into account my commute doesn’t seem so bad after all.

There’s one big final plus point for me. If I arrive home at the end of the day 5 minutes slower than yesterday, I still receive a great welcome home from my family. Which is better than being told I’m no longer needed and that I’m being subsequently dropped for someone better.

Right then, time to head back to the drawing board.

Hang On, What's That Doing Here?

If we are accused of doing something that we never did then we will generally protest our innocence. Likewise, if we are accused of doing something that we have actually done, but shouldn’t have, then we may still try to protest our innocence. At the very least we may try to cover it up by generating false evidence.

These are perfectly natural behaviours and responses. You see, if there is no actual witness to you having done something then it opens the door to bend the truth.

The Role Of The Witness

Take for example the breaking of a world record. To be recognised as having achieved such greatness the event needs to be witnessed and verified there and then. For instance I couldn’t just show someone a stopwatch that says 9.30 seconds whilst standing on a running track at the end of the 100m straight. Well I could but no one would believe that I’ve just achieved a miracle.

Instinct And Trust 

Of course this doesn’t apply to everything. Some events are clearly evident after they’ve happened. For instance a natural disaster that destroys homes, forests and even cities. No questions need be asked there.

I can recall watching the first space shuttle launch whilst sitting in a classroom at the age of 11. It was awe inspiring to imagine that the people inside were on their way into space. Wow! Now despite seeing it on television I had no reason to doubt whether it was real or not.

Incredible Achievement

Back in 1969, on July 20th to be precise, the world experienced a very major event. Millions of people around the globe witnessed it, albeit not in person, but none the less it’s a moment that cannot be forgotten. As I wasn’t born at the time I can only imagine how it must have felt.

You may have twigged that it was the day that NASA achieved the incredible, or may be that should be the impossible.

Astronauts actually walked on the surface of the moon and Neil Armstrong spoke those defining words “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.”.

Line Up And Take Note

Sounds amazing when you think about it, remember it was in 1969. Given the rapid development of technology over the past few decades the belief is that everything is possible.

Some people however are not so convinced. Since that day occurred the world has been full of people who refuse to believe that NASA achieved this goal. Basically they are accused of faking the whole thing, but when you think about it how could NASA have ever proved that it did actually happen?

They couldn’t have a jury all sitting on the moon ready to take note for example.

You Call That Proof?

Well, finally NASA have released what they deem to be proof. Well they say its proof, but to be honest I’m not so sure that it makes a blind bit of difference.

It’s a collection of images taken from 13 miles above the moon’s surface. Odd that, surely after over 40 years they could’ve moved a little closer, or used a better camera may be?

The Hubble Space Telescope manages to generate hi-definition images of the entire universe in outstanding clarity. So something doesn’t seem to add up here.

Oh Look, There’s A Buggy

As the images aren’t exactly clear it’s handy that they’ve pointed out the moon buggy tracks, the mission debris and even footprints left by Buzz and co. 

It’s all a little puzzling though… if it never happened then why try and prove it all now with images that are worse than I could produce in Photoshop, or take with my mobile. 

Similarly if they really did step foot on the moon then why release these images at all.

Is it all just a cover up?

The President: “Be The First!”

President Kennedy gave the directive to NASA to put a man on the moon before the end of the 1960’s. They achieved this with less than 6 months remaining. Some theorists say the claim was made to ensure that America went down in history as being the first to do so.

Japan Has Landed

OK, so let’s be honest. The only way it will ever be proven is if someone else goes to the moon. Other than America of course, and this is where Japan come in.

It is believed that Japan is aiming to head to the moon during the next decade, with a plan to start building a moon base in 2030. A “Moon Base”… that sounds so cool.

So I guess we won’t have to wait long to find out. Unless they do a deal and claim they’ve landed elsewhere on the surface. I mean, who could prove otherwise?

Conclusion

So was NASA just trying to win over the Earth’s population in the short term? I doubt that very much. Were they claiming to have done it just to be credited as the first? I doubt that too.

One thing, they did bring a sample of moon rock back to Earth, so that’s proof isn’t it?

No you’re right, I guess it isn’t, and to be fair I’m not sure what else NASA could’ve brought back. It’s just a shame it’s only rock. After all, we have rock.

Something more mind blowing or convincing would have been good. For instance, a state of the art as yet unreleased Sony 4D television, or perhaps a flying automobile with a traffic avoidance system that isn’t due out for another 20 years.

Oh hang on a minute… sorry, Japan haven’t landed yet have they? Or have they?

Ok, well how about an alien… they’re much better than rock after all. But then for all we know they may well have done just that… spook!

And he could be in Area 51 right now… whatever that is.

Go On Sky, Take A Leaf!

Last month Sky TV offered Sky Sports free for an entire weekend.  This meant that any Sky subscriber who hadn’t paid to receive Sky Sports as part of their TV package deal would be able to watch it.

That’s free of charge!

Now, I have a problem with that, despite it being a nice gesture by Sky… for some people anyway.

The Benefit

It’s a good benefit for existing customers, which is a bit of a rarity as usually the offers are for new customers only. The common approach is to generally ignore the existing customer base as they’re already hooked and paying for the privilege.  It’s not just Sky that do this obviously, mobile phone companies have been doing it for years.

The problem I have is this. I’m one of the existing customers who pays up front on a monthly basis for Sky Sports. So hang on a moment, please allow me to make a little comparison before I make my real point…

Why Sky Sports?

I love watching American Football.  Every year the NFL is broadcast on Sky Sports and to be honest, it’s probably the only reason why I subscribe to the sports channels.  Despite the fact it’s only broadcast from September to early February I’m still forced to take out an annual contract.

I won’t go into the big benefit that I’d personally have if Sky offered a sports package by the type of sport, for instance just the NFL.  It would be great and reduce my costs immensely, but then I guess that’s why they don’t do it that way.

I Can Just Walk Away

OK, never mind.  The thing is, I also love to watch Formula One and from 2012 Sky Sports will have coverage of every race during the season.  This will be from March to November, meaning that I will at least have something to watch all year round on Sky.  Marvellous.

Now due to my enjoyment in watching the F1, I have recently purchased the F1 2011 game for the PS3. I must say, it’s pretty awesome and I’m completely hooked.  I’m rubbish, but at least no matter how many times I crash I can still get up and walk away from my sofa.

Great Customer Service

I bought the F1 game from Amazon.  I pre-ordered it some time ago and they delivered it on the day of release.  So a great service.  A few days later I received an email notifying me that they were issuing me with a refund.  It turns out the game was selling for less than what I had originally paid.

Now I can’t help but compare this to the issue I have with Sky. 

As you may remember I pay up front for continuous viewing of Sky Sports, and this included every weekend in September, unsurprisingly.  Well in my mind that’s similar to pre-ordering the F1 game. 

The real difference of course is that Amazon recognised I had paid more than the equivalent customer and acted without hesitation.  A kind act towards to a loyal customer and now I will undoubtedly consider heading back to Amazon in the future. 

Conclusion

So you see, I pay an extortionate amount for Sky Sports, and yet when they provide it for free to existing customers they are actually punishing the loyal customers who pay them a gazillion pounds!  There is a complete disregard towards people like me.

According to the Sky website, Sky Sports HD costs £30.25 a month extra. Let’s say about £1 a day. 

So please Mr Sky, can you take a leaf out of Amazon’s books and be kind enough to hand back my £2 please? 

Yes I know it’s not quite a gazillion pounds but it’s close enough.  And anyhow, it’s the principal of the matter.  Oh, and before you try, get a proper book, you’ll struggle to get a leaf out of a Kindle.

Speed of Darkness

During my time at school and college I loved Mathematics.  It was definitely my best subject and I clearly had a logical mind that fitted in well.

Another subject that I was pretty good at during college was Physics.  In fact, I received my highest grade in it, and that’s something that still amazes me to this very day.

Don’t get me wrong, I worked extremely hard for it.  Physics had a lot of logic in it too so in theory most of it just followed a typical logical path for me I guess.

That is, until now…

Oh, Should We Panic?

Last week whilst reading the news I noticed a headline that puzzled me for a moment.  You know the type, the ones you have to read half a dozen times to understand it.  Well this one confused me.  It said, “Earthquake in Physics!”

Er… really?  Don’t you mean Geography, and not Physics?  Well, apparently not. 

WHOOSH!

I’m sure you may have heard about this.  A group of scientists in Switzerland have announced an amazing discovery.  They claim to have clocked particles called Neutrinos travelling faster than the speed of light.

Impossible!  No!  Never!

Surely this can’t be true (stay with me), because in 1905 Albert Einstein said it could never happen, and we know he was a genius.  Well, for decades that’s how he’d been portrayed in Physics lessons around the world.

A Quick Technical Bit…

The speed of light is 186,282 miles per second, or 299,792 km per second if you prefer.  Einstein’s theory of relativity focused on the formula of E=mc².  Out of this he said anything other than light is a physical object and therefore it has a mass, meaning it will travel slower than light. 

The experiment on the other hand showed the neutrinos arriving 60 nanoseconds before the light arrived.  Hardly a huge difference but it is faster, and a difference none the less.

Right, that’s the technical bit over with.

Time To Prove It

Scientists from all over the world are now trying to prove whether the findings are flawed, and if the experts at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) have simply made a big embarrassing mistake.

If proven to be correct then Physics can never be taught the same ever again.  It just wouldn’t work. A teacher can’t say to their class “because of… Einstein’s theory is… well except for”.

What Would It Mean?

The exciting and interesting, but possibly worrying part of these findings, is that if it’s proved to be correct then it could open the door for time travel as ultimately it’s all to do with speed and time. 

Back to the Future… No, the Other Way

So, I’ve been thinking this through.  Let’s say it is true and Einstein was wrong.  I have a question.

Why didn’t someone from the future travel back in time to 1905 and tell Einstein his discovery simply wasn’t true?

Conclusion

So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.  As no one can be bothered to go back, I’ll do it!

Right, so I’m off then.  I’ll be back shortly.  In fact, as far you know I could’ve been already. 

Oh, hang on a minute!  If it is true then you’ll be wondering who this chap Einstein is.

Hmm.  Well that solves it then.  By the very fact that I’m writing about it now means it can’t be true.  So by simple logic I’ve solved it. 

I always knew Physics was easy…

Whoops!

I recently read an article that highlighted blatant mistakes in some supermarket labels.

For instance, Wilkinsons were selling Colgate toothpaste at £2.60 each, or 2 for £6. Hardly encouragement to buy two if you ask me.

Then ASDA chipped in with their own bargain for Lucozade Sport by selling it for £2 a bottle, or 2 for £6, huh?

And not wishing to be excluded from the silliness was Tesco who listed Dr. Oetker pizzas for £1.39, or 2 for £4.50.

Clearly none of these were meant to say this and can probably be put down as genuine mistakes caused by the ever growing involvement of computers in our society.

Signs Don’t Escape

Whilst reading this article I started to think about all of the mistakes that have been made in signs over the years.  It specifically reminded me about one I came across a few weeks ago. It was located in my local Sainsburys supermarket car park, and it just didn’t make any sense at all…

Now, I don’t think it can be attributed to being classed as a computer glitch.  For me it’s definitely human error somewhere along the line.

The Sign In Question

You see, the sign said “Thank you for leaving these spaces free for Blue Badge holders”. Ok, that’s a nice thing to say and I can clearly see the positives with it.  Unfortunately though it was located in the wrong place… or so I thought at first.  Don’t worry, I’ll explain.

Normally supermarkets locate simple and useful signs throughout their car parks. They have exit signs guiding drivers out, no entry signs controlling one-ways, and specific signs indicating where the disabled bays and mother and toddler spaces are.

But Why Say That?

I was with my wife at the time who is a disabled Blue Badge holder. So upon arrival into the car park I pulled up into a disabled bay.  It was then that I noticed the sign in front of me. I stopped for a moment and turned to my wife and said “Well that’s not right is it?”

The message on the sign was clearly thanking me for not parking in the very space that I’d just parked in.  How ridiculous.

I started to think it through… well it’s obviously for people who shouldn’t be parking in a disabled bay. So for instance my good self when I’m not with my wife. That’s OK, fine. Completely agree.

Broken Pencil

The daft thing is that if I park elsewhere, so not in a disabled bay, then I won’t see the sign.  The flip side is that if someone doesn’t have a badge but does park in a disabled bay then they probably couldn’t care less whether they are thanked or not for doing something that they clearly haven’t done.

It’s just a crazy scenario.  The sign is simply like a broken pencil… pointless!

One Answer

Somewhere along the line this sign and location has never been thrashed out across the boardroom table, or maybe it has, which is a bit worrying!

The problem here is that the only suitable place for this sign to be is in a normal parking space, and not in a disabled bay.  This way each driver will be thanked for not parking in a disabled bay, and for kindly leaving those spaces for people who may need them.

The issue with this policy is clearly that hundreds of signs are needed for each non-disabled parking space, something I’m sure the cost justification department will say no to in most cases.

Conclusion

So what’s the way forward then?

Well, I guess they could just forget about thanking drivers, albeit the wrong ones, and remove the signs altogether.  Or perhaps the best, most accurate and relatively cost effective thing to do is to leave the sign located in the disabled bay but simply change its wording.  I’ve come up with a couple of ideas.

How about… “Dear Blue Badge Holder: Well done on finding a free bay!”

That’s fairly tame I know so perhaps something a little stronger would be more fitting…

“No Blue Badge? Ring 01234.555.678 to find out where to pick your car up from. Signed Mr. Tow Truck”.

Oh well, I’m sure you get the gist.

Roll the Credits... ACTION!

Have you been to the cinema lately? 

I have.

I recently ventured out to see the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  It was an enjoyable evening but I got a little agitated by what happened at the end.  Don’t worry, I’m not about to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it.  If anything, it’s a very useful bit of information for you. 

My Expectations

My pre-movie expectations were low.  Having watched the latest trailer I couldn’t help think I’d already seen the entire movie, or at least all of the good bits. Plus as the story takes place prior to the original Planet of the Apes films I knew the ending before it started. So not a great start…

The Cinema Experience

A cinema does of course have many benefits over home TV viewing, but it also lacks in other areas too. 

There’s an enormous screen that laughs in the face of televisions.  You get an atmosphere that can enhance belly laughter ten-fold during a side splitting comedy. Viewing is of a blockbuster movie when it’s released, and not 6 to 12 months later. Interruptions are minimal, well non-existent really. Phones shouldn’t ring, door bells won’t chime and there’s even a cup holder strategically placed at the end of your arm.

So you see, it’s perfect!  Or is it?

Niggles

3D movies are almost becoming essential due to their superior quality over non-3D. It’s as though 2D is purposely being sabotaged, suffering from a huge breakdown in resolution, colour and sound.  Or maybe I’ve just adjusted to 3D, blu-ray and HD quality already.

The cinema does of course mean a trip out, queuing for a ticket and then separately for a drink.  Things I don’t need to do at home.  The seats are no match for my sofa either. Plus there will of course be those who turn up thinking it’s a social event with their friends, chatting, fidgeting and kicking the backs of seats whilst rustling food containers throughout the entire movie.  How much food do you need for heaven’s sake?

Oh and don’t forget this is all provided without the ability to press pause for a quick toilet break.

That’s some business model..!

Biggest Issue

Ok, so the cinema is still a good night out. I agree, but why do they do one particular thing in a movie that makes no sense at all?

As Rise of the Planet of the Apes finished the credits started to roll. Hundreds of names went past. At this point people began to stand up and leave, some fairly swiftly too. I was still sitting down as the first few left. 

But then came the ridiculous moment. Yes, you’ve probably guessed… the movie hadn’t finished. A little way into the credits another scene appeared. It didn’t last long but it was a crucial moment in the story telling.

And this is where I have a problem…

• Why do that?
• What’s the point?
• Why split that scene out?
• Why wasn’t it shown before the credits started?

It’s hardly suspense. It was a completely pointless bit of timing. No one expected it as the movie finished well. May be the director believes cinema goers should stay behind in detention fashion to read every name associated with it. 

Crazy and Ruined

It was a crazy bit of timing that left me with the feeling that the movie had been slightly ruined. It’s not because I’d got up by this point because I hadn’t, but because I couldn’t see the screen or hear what was being said due to the auditorium resembling a football terrace from the 70’s.  Virtually everyone else was standing and chatting loudly about the past 100 minutes.  Some teenagers were even making ape noises believing they were starting a new race of life.

Looking back I realised that if I’d been watching this at home I probably would’ve missed the delayed ending too.  For some reason the credits prompt a change of channels on the TV, always have done and always will.

Is that all?

After this “final” scene I stayed behind to see if the movie had any more secret scenes.  The credits rolled for what seemed like an eternity. May be the director had got his wish about someone watching the credits after all.

I waited at least another 5 minutes or so watching scores of names scroll by.  Finally I did give up, but only because the cleaners arrived to clear the mess created by the auditioning apes.

Conclusion

So as you can see, I came away with plenty of thoughts. It’s just a shame that the main ones were not of the actual movie content.  Saying that I did get a couple of hours of entertainment for just £8.50, pretty good really.  Plus they didn’t change channel when the credits started to roll, unlike at home.  Oh, and a special surprise ending, even if no one actually saw or heard it.

I’ll finish with a bit of advice for us all, it’s quite simple.  Just stay on your backside until the cleaners walk in!

Armbands and Parachute Deployed Captain!

Just a quick little story if you have 4 or 5 minutes to spare…

I’m writing this whilst sitting in row 39, in seat C, on a Thomas Cook flight bound for Gatwick. It’s an aisle seat lined up alongside the emergency exit doors. I pre-booked this seat for the extra leg room just as any normal giraffe would.

First Up, The Nervous Steward

I’ve just watched the safety demonstration by the male steward. He stood right in front of me. Worryingly he had one of those uncontrollable giggles and smiles going on.

It was like a budding young actor on stage for the first time who couldn’t withhold his nervousness, embarrassment and excitement in front of the vast audience. Anyhow, he did a fine job and held it together well.

Marvellous. Well done…

Dressing Up

He held aloft a seat belt and showed us how to use it. He ran through the safety leaflet. He flapped his arms to highlight where the escape routes were, although I couldn’t help wonder if it was an example of what I should do if required to depart at several thousand feet. He then followed this up with the face mask demonstration, calmly placing what can best be described as a yellow beaker over his nose & mouth.

He finished up with the usual life jacket show. It went something like this… place it over your head, tie the straps round your waist and to the side, once out of the aircraft pull the toggle to inflate it, use the blow pipe if it’s a bit flat, and then finally use the whistle and light to aid your rescue. Presumably so the pirates and bounty hunters, sorry the rescue teams, will be able to find me amongst all of the plane wreckage. It was the same demonstration that they’ve always given, always have and always will.

But What About?

Now whilst that sounds all very handy I do have a bit of an issue here. Well, and a little more besides. You see, the first thing is he’s suggesting that I must do all of this for myself before starting this procedure on my children.  Yes I know, of course this does make sense, but I can’t help thinking I’ll be frantically puffing away whilst seeing my daughters flap about in choppy waters trying to get a good grip on a piece of wing. Or worse fighting off Captain Hook with a piece of undercarriage.

And Another Thing

Then I thought, hang on a minute. Let me get this right. Whilst the aircraft plummets out of the sky I need to calmly attach a plastic cup to my face so I can breath, and then I can assist my daughters. Ok that’s sort of very sensible too when you think about it. Then, whilst performing our Olympic dive over the Atlantic I just need to pop our life jackets on and tie them up. Hmm, but we’re sitting in our seats, belts tightly fastened with an oxygen line connecting our heads to the over head lockers looking like something out of the next alien blockbuster movie.

So I gather after temporarily holding my breath to disconnect my umbilical cord from above I need to put the life jacket over my head and tie it as best as I can. Then assist the little ones in doing the same.

Waiting for the Impossible

At this point everyone must now wait for what is to be the gentlest landing on water that has ever happened to avoid wiping out all forms of life. Bar the amazing achievement by Captain Sullenberger who glided his Airbus 320 down gently onto the Hudson River.

So somehow the pilot and his merrymen need to level her belly out, slow her up from a million miles per hour to about two, and lay her down on the choppy water like a sleeping new born baby being placed into her Moses basket.

I am not a pilot but I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. The reality is surely that the “baby” will go head first much faster than was initially anticipated.

What Do You Mean “Don’t Panic” ?

And here’s my problem, what good is a life jacket when you won’t be alive to even remember in the sheer panic of what to do outside the craft?

With a life jacket on I would need to have left the plane before impact to avoid being wiped out instantly. So I’ve had a thought…

What A View

Surely the better option is to have a parachute, and not a life jacket at all? Granted we may have similar issues putting it on, in fact possibly easier as it doesn’t need to go over my head.

And yes, I appreciate that leaping from a plane travelling as fast as a space rocket hurtling into space, albeit the wrong way, may not sound like the best idea. Or possible for that matter. But I can’t help thinking that I’d at least be able to look forward to a parachute jump, something I’ve never done. Think of the thrill, and the view would be quite spectacular too.

Early Days

There are of course flaws to all of this, but it’s early days. The people at the front of the aircraft for instance run the risk of being made into a bolognaise with the engines and wings, so perhaps their seats should be cheaper?

Plus there is the landing. If we are over land then there is a good chance of survival. The problem comes when an ocean beckons below as I will of course need a life jacket.

My Conclusion

My conclusion therefore is that I would like a life jacket with a parachute included in the back of it please Mr.T. Cook. Although suitable instructions on which cord to pull first are essential.

As my iPhone is currently on airplane mode I will have to wait until after landing before posting this. So by the very fact that you’re reading this now I can rest easy knowing that my life jacket was not needed, and neither was my parachute… that they forgot to pack.

Who knows where this may lead.  I will be writing about many things, mainly anything that makes me think ”hang on a minute?”

So why Cajuzi?

Well, in short, I wanted a word that was well… short I guess. About six letters should do it I thought.  I spent hours working through what seemed like thousands of words, drawing blanks everywhere. I threw together letters hoping to strike upon a good combination that worked…

…and eventually, Eureka! My eldest daughter reminded me of something that my youngest daughter used to say. Instead of saying jacuzzi she would always say “cajuzi”.

So there you have it. Watch this space, I’ll be back soon…