Fireworks done - Now post the flyers!

Last week at home we had the unfortunate matter of our landline home telephone deciding to no longer work.

It just stopped. Holiday mode I imagine.

As if by magic it just suddenly went silent during Tuesday morning, and to be honest it was fairly adamant it wasn’t coming back any time soon.

One Stop Shop

My curious mind couldn’t help thinking the other end of the phone line had been unplugged in the exchange box.  Hmmm…

With it went the broadband connection. Fortunately British Telecom (BT) are responsible for it all so I promptly logged a fault with them.

How Long?

Now, as I’m on their superfast, high performance Infinity 2 broadband deal I’d hoped for a swift investigation.  Unfortunately I was mistaken.

“Sometime over the next 4 days we’ll have a look for you”, was the response.  Four days? This is 2012 for heaven’s sake!

That Was Quick

Well, eventually an engineer turned up on Thursday. Oddly enough after a swift visit to the local exchange box he had it resolved in a jiffy!

Loose plug perhaps?

It’s quite frustrating, paying for an expensive service for two days of nothing. Wonder what they do with my money if it’s not to fund my fibre connection 24 hours a day?

Anyway, fortunately it’s fixed now so thank you BT.

Oooh, A Bit of Post!

So, this leads me onto something that popped through my letterbox yesterday. You know the old fashioned way of communicating.

The envelope in question was addressed to “The Householder”. It was from BT.

Ex-Directory Does More Than I Thought

Odd, I’m sure the last time I spoke to them they knew my name. And what’s up with not emailing me to save time and money?  You know, my money that I pay every month!

May be they didn’t know they’d fixed my connection issue so decided to write to me instead.

I’m assuming of course that it was a general flyer that every household received. Fair enough, although seems a bit pointless in one way.

Funny Olympics

So what was inside?  Well it contained a rather large poster, about A2 in size, of a colourful and funny cartoon picture. Great, I love cartoons!

The cartoon related to the London 2012 Olympics and had plenty of comical and light hearted shenanigans going on all over it. Clearly a lot of effort had been applied to producing it.

Let’s Party!

Now given that the London 2012 Olympics finished over a week ago, 10 days to be precise, I assumed it was celebrating Team GB’s success in winning so many medals at home.

Er… no.

The main heading across the middle read “This Summer’s Biggest Deal”.  Below it was an offer for broadband and calls “from the official broadband provider of London 2012”.

The next heading said “A Performance you can rely on”.  Words such as reliable and superfast were mentioned in the statements that followed.

But You Know I Have That?

Apparently I can keep right up to date with all the results from the Olympics, with BT. It even comments on my existing service failing right at the final moments of the 100m sprint, and that I need to get a new service from them to guarantee unspoilt entertainment.

What… how… but… I’m on the most expensive, the fastest and best service that BT have available.

Perhaps Just Bad Timing…

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand the bold sales strategy being applied here but come on, really?

I’d hardly call my BT connection reliable considering what happened last week. Yes, it’s superfast but this offer hardly shows great performance by arriving so late.

Conclusion

I’m sorry to say that we only have the London 2012 Paralympics remaining.  The main London 2012 Olympics fortnight has long since departed so I can’t keep up to date with the 100m Final or any other event that I may pass interest over.

Oh hang on, of course I did. Silly me.

As I’ve mentioned, I already have their high performing superfast BT Infinity 2 service rendering this flyer as completely pointless.

Then there’s the confident wording relating to reliability and performance.  Oh please BT, be careful with your timing.

Finally

Now, had this turned up a week ago followed by the writing of this article then I’d be wondering if I’d been responsible for my own loss of service last week… but then I’m not sure they know who I am, where I live or even what day it is.

Thanks anyway BT, I enjoyed the cartoon!

I can't slam dunk it... it won't fit!

Have you ever heard someone utter the words, “a licence to print money”?

Hmm, yes probably.

It’s a nice thought and a great privilege if you’re allowed to do it.

Well, the Royal Mint has that very privilege. They also have the honour of making coins by the billions to pump into the monetary system.

Perfection is the key

Clearly it carries a great responsibility. Everything has to be exactly right with the printing of each note and the structure of each coin. With a high level of accuracy every single item produced has to be as per the design specification.

Ok, so that’s marvellous.

When Was That Then?

Well apart from when they get the design wrong that is. Take for example the new 20p coin launched in 2009. Its size and weight were perfect but after the Royal Mint had sent 200,000 into circulation they then realised they had forgotten to date them. Coin collectors went mad of course, paying up to 250 times their face value to get hold of one.

I’m sure that’s a mistake that the Royal Mint will never make again.  Presumably they now have even stricter rules to reach perfection.

Great, that’s marvellous.

Change Saves Money

Well, unfortunately it appears that isn’t the case. You see, the Royal Mint have just launched new 5p and 10p coins. The new designs will save them £8m a year apparently.

Now that is marvellous.

The cost saving is in the material used for the coins as they are now being made out of steel instead of copper and nickel. So what’s the problem then?

A Cost Saving? Er, No

Well unfortunately it would seem that in order to keep the coins the same weight they’ve made each one thicker.

You see, in the UK there is an old style parking meter that is unable to accept the thicker coins, and the problem is they are installed everywhere. The estimate to replace these useless parking meters is estimated to be around £80m, to be paid for by the local councils.

Not marvellous at all.

Lack of Parking

So due to the incompetence of the Royal Mint coin designers there are bound to be some serious parking issues coming up. The thing is, parking is bad enough already. Car parks never seem to be made big enough.

May be this will force the government and councils to look into controlling parking in a better way.

Why Put It There?

For instance, my youngest daughter plays netball during the evening at a local sports leisure centre. Parking would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that there’s a secondary school bolted onto the side of it.

This means that whenever the school hold a parents evening, or something similar, it’s impossible to find a space to park. It leads to double parking and complete chaos.

Get Famous & I’ll Press Record

Of course I do find somewhere to park eventually, but I end up missing a substantial amount of her training session. She really enjoys playing and her ability is improving all the time I might add, not that I get to see much of it.

Who knows maybe one day she’ll be on TV. At least it will allow me to watch a recording once I’ve given up on the parking idea.

Success can surely happen as only last year one of the older girls progressed to playing for England, which is fantastic. If only netball had been made into an Olympic sport then she could’ve potentially played for England at the London 2012 Olympics, and been on TV too.

Now that would definitely be marvellous.

London 2012 Olympics Special

Oh, whilst on the subject of the London 2012 Olympics, a special commemorative collection of coins are now on sale. Guess who made them?

Yes, the Royal Mint of course.

A lot of thought has gone into the making of them, and let’s face it, given the amount of attention surrounding the London 2012 Olympics they need to get them bang on perfect.

The Collection

There are 29 coins to collect in all. Each one representing a different Olympic sport from the London 2012 line up.  Number 5 for instance is basketball.

Personally I really enjoy basketball. I loved playing it and find it great to watch, which is why I’m off to see a couple of games with my family when the Olympics arrive in London.  It’s because of this that my dad has bought me a number 5 coin to keep.

Basketball Queen

Now, we had a look at it to see the unique design on it, and yes, it represents the sport of basketball. There’s a special moulded design on one side. On the other side, the head’s side, it has the standard Queen’s head with the official wording of “ELIZABETH.II.D.G REG.F.D.2011”.

Yes, they remembered the date this time.

So well done Royal Mint, that’s marvellous.

Conclusion

Well no, it isn’t really. The thing is, presumably the date on a coin has to be when it was actually made. Otherwise it may be deemed illegal. I get that bit.

So I guess you may have realised by now that for something that is to be a collectable, commemorative coin for the London 2012 Olympics does in fact have the date of ‘2011’ planted on it.

Only the Royal Mint could make something so collectable, seem so worthless.

Marvellous… absolutely marvellous.

Go On Sky, Take A Leaf!

Last month Sky TV offered Sky Sports free for an entire weekend.  This meant that any Sky subscriber who hadn’t paid to receive Sky Sports as part of their TV package deal would be able to watch it.

That’s free of charge!

Now, I have a problem with that, despite it being a nice gesture by Sky… for some people anyway.

The Benefit

It’s a good benefit for existing customers, which is a bit of a rarity as usually the offers are for new customers only. The common approach is to generally ignore the existing customer base as they’re already hooked and paying for the privilege.  It’s not just Sky that do this obviously, mobile phone companies have been doing it for years.

The problem I have is this. I’m one of the existing customers who pays up front on a monthly basis for Sky Sports. So hang on a moment, please allow me to make a little comparison before I make my real point…

Why Sky Sports?

I love watching American Football.  Every year the NFL is broadcast on Sky Sports and to be honest, it’s probably the only reason why I subscribe to the sports channels.  Despite the fact it’s only broadcast from September to early February I’m still forced to take out an annual contract.

I won’t go into the big benefit that I’d personally have if Sky offered a sports package by the type of sport, for instance just the NFL.  It would be great and reduce my costs immensely, but then I guess that’s why they don’t do it that way.

I Can Just Walk Away

OK, never mind.  The thing is, I also love to watch Formula One and from 2012 Sky Sports will have coverage of every race during the season.  This will be from March to November, meaning that I will at least have something to watch all year round on Sky.  Marvellous.

Now due to my enjoyment in watching the F1, I have recently purchased the F1 2011 game for the PS3. I must say, it’s pretty awesome and I’m completely hooked.  I’m rubbish, but at least no matter how many times I crash I can still get up and walk away from my sofa.

Great Customer Service

I bought the F1 game from Amazon.  I pre-ordered it some time ago and they delivered it on the day of release.  So a great service.  A few days later I received an email notifying me that they were issuing me with a refund.  It turns out the game was selling for less than what I had originally paid.

Now I can’t help but compare this to the issue I have with Sky. 

As you may remember I pay up front for continuous viewing of Sky Sports, and this included every weekend in September, unsurprisingly.  Well in my mind that’s similar to pre-ordering the F1 game. 

The real difference of course is that Amazon recognised I had paid more than the equivalent customer and acted without hesitation.  A kind act towards to a loyal customer and now I will undoubtedly consider heading back to Amazon in the future. 

Conclusion

So you see, I pay an extortionate amount for Sky Sports, and yet when they provide it for free to existing customers they are actually punishing the loyal customers who pay them a gazillion pounds!  There is a complete disregard towards people like me.

According to the Sky website, Sky Sports HD costs £30.25 a month extra. Let’s say about £1 a day. 

So please Mr Sky, can you take a leaf out of Amazon’s books and be kind enough to hand back my £2 please? 

Yes I know it’s not quite a gazillion pounds but it’s close enough.  And anyhow, it’s the principal of the matter.  Oh, and before you try, get a proper book, you’ll struggle to get a leaf out of a Kindle.

Roll the Credits... ACTION!

Have you been to the cinema lately? 

I have.

I recently ventured out to see the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  It was an enjoyable evening but I got a little agitated by what happened at the end.  Don’t worry, I’m not about to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it.  If anything, it’s a very useful bit of information for you. 

My Expectations

My pre-movie expectations were low.  Having watched the latest trailer I couldn’t help think I’d already seen the entire movie, or at least all of the good bits. Plus as the story takes place prior to the original Planet of the Apes films I knew the ending before it started. So not a great start…

The Cinema Experience

A cinema does of course have many benefits over home TV viewing, but it also lacks in other areas too. 

There’s an enormous screen that laughs in the face of televisions.  You get an atmosphere that can enhance belly laughter ten-fold during a side splitting comedy. Viewing is of a blockbuster movie when it’s released, and not 6 to 12 months later. Interruptions are minimal, well non-existent really. Phones shouldn’t ring, door bells won’t chime and there’s even a cup holder strategically placed at the end of your arm.

So you see, it’s perfect!  Or is it?

Niggles

3D movies are almost becoming essential due to their superior quality over non-3D. It’s as though 2D is purposely being sabotaged, suffering from a huge breakdown in resolution, colour and sound.  Or maybe I’ve just adjusted to 3D, blu-ray and HD quality already.

The cinema does of course mean a trip out, queuing for a ticket and then separately for a drink.  Things I don’t need to do at home.  The seats are no match for my sofa either. Plus there will of course be those who turn up thinking it’s a social event with their friends, chatting, fidgeting and kicking the backs of seats whilst rustling food containers throughout the entire movie.  How much food do you need for heaven’s sake?

Oh and don’t forget this is all provided without the ability to press pause for a quick toilet break.

That’s some business model..!

Biggest Issue

Ok, so the cinema is still a good night out. I agree, but why do they do one particular thing in a movie that makes no sense at all?

As Rise of the Planet of the Apes finished the credits started to roll. Hundreds of names went past. At this point people began to stand up and leave, some fairly swiftly too. I was still sitting down as the first few left. 

But then came the ridiculous moment. Yes, you’ve probably guessed… the movie hadn’t finished. A little way into the credits another scene appeared. It didn’t last long but it was a crucial moment in the story telling.

And this is where I have a problem…

• Why do that?
• What’s the point?
• Why split that scene out?
• Why wasn’t it shown before the credits started?

It’s hardly suspense. It was a completely pointless bit of timing. No one expected it as the movie finished well. May be the director believes cinema goers should stay behind in detention fashion to read every name associated with it. 

Crazy and Ruined

It was a crazy bit of timing that left me with the feeling that the movie had been slightly ruined. It’s not because I’d got up by this point because I hadn’t, but because I couldn’t see the screen or hear what was being said due to the auditorium resembling a football terrace from the 70’s.  Virtually everyone else was standing and chatting loudly about the past 100 minutes.  Some teenagers were even making ape noises believing they were starting a new race of life.

Looking back I realised that if I’d been watching this at home I probably would’ve missed the delayed ending too.  For some reason the credits prompt a change of channels on the TV, always have done and always will.

Is that all?

After this “final” scene I stayed behind to see if the movie had any more secret scenes.  The credits rolled for what seemed like an eternity. May be the director had got his wish about someone watching the credits after all.

I waited at least another 5 minutes or so watching scores of names scroll by.  Finally I did give up, but only because the cleaners arrived to clear the mess created by the auditioning apes.

Conclusion

So as you can see, I came away with plenty of thoughts. It’s just a shame that the main ones were not of the actual movie content.  Saying that I did get a couple of hours of entertainment for just £8.50, pretty good really.  Plus they didn’t change channel when the credits started to roll, unlike at home.  Oh, and a special surprise ending, even if no one actually saw or heard it.

I’ll finish with a bit of advice for us all, it’s quite simple.  Just stay on your backside until the cleaners walk in!